This is the fourth day since CeCe died. I waver between anger, sadness, numbness.
My life has centered around her, I realize, for a very long time. Not a day went by that I did not think about her, wonder where she was or what she was doing, and why she hadn’t returned my call. She was terrible at that.
When she did call, her first words were always “Hey, Girl!” I can still hear her. I have wondered the past few days if my feelings for her could be simply described as loving friendship. She and Craig were the first, and for the longest time only, cohesive couple I ever knew. They never fought, at least they both said so. Craig worshiped the ground CeCe walked on, the air she breathed. I’ve varied between envy and jealousy over the years for her fortune. Theirs was the type of relationship I always dreamed I could have, but never did find. Cece’s attempts to help me with that were always pretty disastrous.